Hats have many uses

After a peaceful evening at Casa LuMarFin (we were the only ones there) during which we ate a fair share of the baby bell cheeses in the refrigerator, I finished the heavy cream and some half and half on a big bowl of WHEAT CHEX (do you know how long it has been since I had some Wheat Chex?) I felt obligated to have a big bowl because it was packaged in such a large square box (in the pantry with so many other wonderful goodies!) I’ve come to understand that while my youngest is a member of the sugar police, she is NOT a closet police force member!

Anyway, I digress … there was not a creature stirring all night … not even a mouse … not even a dog! We slept soundly from 9pm to 4am and rose before dawn to make the trip to the airport. It was time consuming to find a parking place in the long term parking lot … and then we had to hike cross country to get to the terminal. My girlfriend fretted that it was already a few minutes after 5am when we had finished checking our luggage and were on the way to the gate for a 5:49 am flight! We were both subjected to a pat-down … Linda because she looked too good to be true at that time of morning … Me, because of the zipper on my pants!

The flight from Moline to Atlanta was a good flight. We enjoyed coffee and stroup waffles as a snack. I didn’t have any particular difficulty with the narrow, small seat area on the regional jet. I’m thankful for cortisone and steroid shots in the knees!

We arrived early in Atlanta and found our gate … settling down for a two hour layover while we enjoyed coffee and bagels and cream cheese.

The flight to Tampa was very enjoyable until we descended into Tampa. It was a bit bumpy and swaying and after a while I broke into a sweat and began feeling nauseous. By the time we were on the ground, I was green….and certainly not with envy.

I sat for a bit while my girlfriend worried over me … but it was going to take longer to recover than prudent so we got our baggage (long walk) … then went for the rental car (another long walk and a tram ride).

It was the tram ride that was my waterloo. When one is already on the edge of regurgitation, and then gets on a herky-jerky tram ride … it is best to sit down and be a boy scout (be prepared). It wasn’t long before I was puking into the only thing nearby that could contain semi-liquified bagel and cream cheese, stroup waffles and coffee. It was my hat. So I filled it while my girlfriend took her handkerchief and kept dabbing my mouth to remove the stuff hanging from my beard. She stopped however, when she started gagging and feared that she might join me.

The insult to injury came when the contents of my hat began leaking through the vent holes in the top of the hat … filling my palm and coating my fingers.

I thank God for the kind lady who was standing nearby who took pity and offered a welcome plastic bag filled with wet wipes. God bless her … could she have been a ministering angel?

Leaving the tram,I disposed of the hat before I was tempted to put it on my head again. I was still green around the gills as we approached the National Car Rental desk … and I willed the man to hurry up … as a result, because I wasn’t paying a lot of attention since I was concentrating on not puking again on the counter, I ended up with about 150.00 extra in charges for insurance that I didn’t need!

I was supposed to get a Kia …. but took the first thing that looked like a SUV … turned out to be a Nissan …. but we took it and drove the hour to Holmes Beach. I felt like I was in a fog most of the way but soldiered on.

It was comforting to be welcomed by the loving arms of my daughter (the sugar police) and the smile and hugs from Margo. At that point, all I wanted to do was lie down and take a nap …. and that I did. A little more than an hour later I awoke refreshed and feeling none the worse for the wear and ready to enjoy the week.

The irony of this adventure is that my hat … the one I found another use for … was my US Navy cap. As a Navy veteran it was rather embarrassing to puke into a Navy hat! Ah well … such is life.

I ate a piece of Dove candy tonight and the inside of the wrapper said “You are You nique”. In one sense at least, I believe that is true … I daresay that no one reading this knows anyone who has ever puked in their hat!