Rodent Wars Update: The Chipmunk Offensive

Chipmunks are analogous to many types of sin.  On the surface they appear to be adorable and cute just as many forms of sin seem desirable and alluring.  Under the surface, however, both prove to be a destructive force that needs to be reckoned with.  Witness: the sidewalk slab that has sunk nearly an inch because of rodent excavations beneath it.  Witness: the network of holes and tunnels which allow water to run in along the foundation.  Witness: the gaps in my tulip rows where these pests have been devouring my expensive bulbs.

My lawn care guy suggested stuffing rags soaked with gas down the holes; no need to light them although I would be tempted.  A wildlife professional suggested two points of attack: 1) A bucket of water with sunflower seeds floating on top, and a plank resting on the ground and the edge of the bucket.  I’d need to make it fairly wide with a street sign: “The Way of Destruction” with subtitle “Avenida de destrucción”, in case these pests are Hispanics.  The point is to get them to fall in while reaching greedily for the seed and subsequently drown.  2) Rat traps!

I opted for the bucket but, upon some reflection, decided I was not particularly excited about the prospect of “fishing” soggy, bloated bodies out of a 5 gallon bucket.  Since most of the action occurs in the front of the house it occurred to me that such macabre activity would be in full view of the neighbors.  Concerns were raised in my mind about what they might think about the “old man in shorts, wearing white sneakers with black socks” who lives at the top of the hill.  My mail delivery person was curious about the contraption which sat by the front door.  When I explained she had a word for me,  “That’s obscene!  You ought to be reported!”

Since I now have a peace treaty with the squirrels, I didn’t want to violate it by arranging to snap any of their necks in rat trap.  I was also concerned about birds and other benign creatures that might wander into danger’s way.

I struck upon a solution while standing in the hardware store not long ago.  Mothball crystals!!!  I carefully sprinkled them along the foundation all around the house and hid some down in their holes.  It’s been over a week now and while we were besieged with legions of them (or so it seemed) before, I haven’t seen a single one.  They appear to have made a full retreat.  At the very least they have withdrawn from the immediate area.

Reflecting upon this I realized that there is a similar remedy for sin.  It’s not mothball crystals, it is God’s Word:  “Thy Word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee” – Psalm 119.11  A heart and mind imbued with the principles and precepts of God’s Word is much less likely to be overrun by the destructive forces of sin.