The Hairy Facts

Linda and I were reading in our devotional time yesterday in 2 Samuel 14.  I was intrigued by verses 25-26 in that chapter.

Now in all Israel there was no one who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.  And when he cut the hair of his head—at the end of every year he cut it because it was heavy on him—when he cut it, he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels according to the king’s standard.

I was struck, first, by the fact that Absalom had no blemish in him from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.  That’s remarkable!  I can’t say that about any part of my body, not even the sole of my foot which has a mole on it … not to speak of callouses!  What really intrigued me however was what I learned about Absalom’s hair!!!!  I knew he had long hair and that was a major, yes even a fatal “hangup” for him.  I never noticed before, though, that he cut it at the end of every year because it was heavy on him.  I wondered how heavy?  I discovered that 200 shekels is the equivalent of FIVE POUNDS!!!!!  Are you serious?!?!?!?!  Every year?  This might have been a weight loss program known as “Hairli”  (some of you will get that).  Well, how much is five pounds of hair?  A little more research informed me that a full head of long hair extensions (Note the distinction between longhair, an artistic person or classical music lover … and long hair) weighs approximately 7 ounces.  So Absalom cut off the the equivalent of more than 11 full head long hair extensions each year!

No matter how you cut it … that’s a lot of hair!

If Absalom were a contemporary of this age, might he have written this song?

Gimme head with hair
Long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming,
Streaming, flaxen, waxen
Give me down to there hair
Shoulder length or longer
Here baby, there mama
Everywhere daddy daddy
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair

Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
Let it fly in the breeze
And get caught in the trees
Give a home to the fleas in my hair

A home for fleas
A hive for bees
A nest for birds
There ain’t no words
For the beauty, the splendor, the wonder
Of my…
Hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair

Flow it, show it
Long as God can grow it
My hair
I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy
Snaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty
Oily, greasy, fleecy
Shining, gleaming, streaming
Flaxen, waxen
Knotted, polka-dotted
Twisted, beaded, braided
Powdered, flowered, and confettied
Bangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied!

Oh say can you see
My eyes if you can
Then my hair’s too short
Down to here
Down to there
Down to where
It stops by itself
They’ll be ga ga at the go go
When they see me in my toga
My toga made of blonde brilliantined biblical hair!

Songwriters: GALT MAC DERMOT, GEROME RAGNI, JAMES RADO  Hair… lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc.