Tastelessness

In my life I have been witness to, or victim of, many demonstrations of tastelessness. Most of them were relatively harmless. While in the hospital last week I was introduced to another form of that dreaded characteristic. I had heard of Cream of Wheat before and I had seen it from time to time. My palate, however, had never endured the insult of Cream of Wheat. It is the only food (and I think it may not even qualify as such in polite company) that I have ever come across that would benefit by adding a bit of sawdust to enhance its flavor! And now, horror of horrors, it has been placed on my breakfast menu by my sweet and well meaning girlfriend, who tried to disguise it with a few blueberries and pieces of banana! Does anyone have some sawdust they can bring me?